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There’s nothing quite as strange or intriguing as when a girl gets cheated on by her boyfriend and decides the best thing to do is immediately tell everyone on Facebook about it in great detail
"Hello good sir GM, may we pretty please have your throwaway centers and gords please??!? I'll suck yo'dick!"
My dad always says he's undefeated at tailgating
Maybe it's not I who doesn't know what he's talking about
My new favorite burn is saying “sick airpods bro” to a bro wearing airpods
Remember Creepy Crawlers? best time period of my life by far
He shook my hand breed tub and walked away
I forgot 5 honks was a thing.
Got a large coffee and they charged me for a medium, thank you Lord
"Have a blessed day" - the cashier at Qdoba
Indian dude at the gas station told me “Good Luck” after I said thanks when he handed my card back
sounds like a thinly veiled terrorist attack is coming your way.#blessed