The Latrine

[bojanglesman]

^I should get that "One Shining Moment" theme piped into my bathroom in repeat. 

[eyedea]

I was out on a Thanksgiving morning playing roller hockey at this local rink, it's something we do every year, prob 15 or so guys.

I figured it would be a good idea to eat something before i play, so I stop at Dunkin Donuts and get a big Texas sandwich or something like that and a large coffee. Fast forward me playing about an hour in I get the grumbles, i try to skate it off like a champ but I wet fart a little and I know its defcon 5, i skate out of the rink as fast as I can, this place has a mini golf course that's only open in the summer THAT's WHERE THE BATHROOMS ARE, so I run to the locker room and see a big metal garbage can without thinking twice i dropped my draws I had to kind of jump in and hold my self up on the sides like when you do dips. EXPLODED like chocolate lava when I get done i used my undershirt to "clean up" but when I was done I noticed a hole in the bag, this can was the kind that looked like mesh, Didn't think anything of it. Head back to the rink that Sunday walk towards the locker room I see some guys flipping out cause, the poo oozed out of the can and he put his bag on top of it. He goes to me "you believe this? I think I got human excrement all over my bag"  my answer was, wow some scumbag must have done that.

[Miamipuck]

I was out on a Thanksgiving morning playing roller hockey at this local rink, it's something we do every year, prob 15 or so guys.

I figured it would be a good idea to eat something before i play, so I stop at Dunkin Donuts and get a big Texas sandwich or something like that and a large coffee. Fast forward me playing about an hour in I get the grumbles, i try to skate it off like a champ but I wet fart a little and I know its defcon 5, i skate out of the rink as fast as I can, this place has a mini golf course that's only open in the summer THAT's WHERE THE BATHROOMS ARE, so I run to the locker room and see a big metal garbage can without thinking twice i dropped my draws I had to kind of jump in and hold my self up on the sides like when you do dips. EXPLODED like chocolate lava when I get done i used my undershirt to "clean up" but when I was done I noticed a hole in the bag, this can was the kind that looked like mesh, Didn't think anything of it. Head back to the rink that Sunday walk towards the locker room I see some guys flipping out cause, the poo oozed out of the can and he put his bag on top of it. He goes to me "you believe this? I think I got human excrement all over my bag"  my answer was, wow some scumbag must have done that.

I think what Koz did in his pants, after meeting the Train woman and getting emasculated, must have been worse.

[bojanglesman]

http://www.jetoffensive.com/index.php?topic=16.0

[bojanglesman]

I pooped in a titty bar one time. 

[klaximilian]

Does my neighbors lawn count?

[Johnny English]

I'm with Bo. One topic on turds is quite enough.

[Badger]

[Badger]

http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/28epq5/tifu_by_peeing_too_hard/

[Tommy]

Whenever I rush to the bathroom, I sometimes have this weird irrational fear when plunking down on the toilet that I may have accidentally gone into the ladies room.

[Badger]

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/queens/feces-shoots-toilets-homes-queens-village-sudden-flooding-article-1.1842628

[Badger]

Whenever I rush to the bathroom, I sometimes have this weird irrational fear when plunking down on the toilet that I may have accidentally gone into the ladies room.

I have an irrational fear of being attacked from behind while using the urinal. Boardwalk Empire and Fargo have both had urinal attack scenes in recent memory and have fed into this fear.

Think about it. It's pretty much the most defenseless position to be in during the course of a normal day. Dick's out, you're facing the wall, the floor might be slippery, etc.

[Fenwyr]

I saw an earwig swimming in my toilet a few years ago.  I always have to inspect before I sit now.  I've never encountered such a thing again, but I still always check.

[Tommy]

I saw an earwig swimming in my toilet a few years ago.  I always have to inspect before I sit now.  I've never encountered such a thing again, but I still always check.

freak. Now i will too.

[Johnny English]

Eh, it's not the ones swimming in the toilet you have to worry about, it's the ones walking across your head while you sleep. Why do you think they're called earwigs and not arsewigs?