Annoyances

[Tommy]

Remember when we saw those tourists taking a picture of a squirrel in Central Park?

Ha I don't. What happened?

[Badger]

Ha I don't. What happened?

We walked past them and remarked how dumb they were.

[Tommy]

We walked past them and remarked how dumb they were.

Sounds about right.

[IATA]

i like squirrels

[Heismanberg]

If I wanted .92 lbs of turkey I would have asked for .92 lbs.  Go slice another damn piece before you print my sticker.

[Ignatius J Reilly]

i like squirrels

Squirrels have the plague,  yo

[Miamipuck]

If I wanted .92 lbs of turkey I would have asked for .92 lbs.  Go slice another damn piece before you print my sticker.

What are you some 95 year old bitch at the deli counter?

"I want half a pound of balogna"
"Ma'am I went over by '02 Is that ok?"
"No take it off you're trying to over charge me"
"Ma'am it's the same price"
"Take it off, I said"

[Heismanberg]

What are you some 95 year old bitch at the deli counter?

"I want half a pound of balogna"
"Ma'am I went over by '02 Is that ok?"
"No take it off you're trying to over charge me"
"Ma'am it's the same price"
"Take it off, I said"

I don't care if the weight is a little bit over, but if I ask for a pound of something and the lazy deli worker acts like it's the end of the world to walk three feet to slice one or two more slices, then I'm going to complain.

Do your freaking job or go home. 

Also, she didn't ask me if the weight was okay.  She just printed the tag and put it on the counter. 

[Tommy]

All I'm thinking about is the scene from The Wrestler

[CatoTheElder]

Not being able to tell if I think an actress is attractive or not. Examples:
-Greta Gerwig
-Olivia Thirlby
-Emily Blunt

The worst part is that I thought I knew the answer to the last one.

Alternatively: Why am I attracted to women I don't think are pretty. I have no idea why I want to bang Maggie Gyllenhall and it's pissing me off.

[Miamipuck]

I don't care if the weight is a little bit over, but if I ask for a pound of something and the lazy deli worker acts like it's the end of the world to walk three feet to slice one or two more slices, then I'm going to complain.

Do your freaking job or go home. 

Also, she didn't ask me if the weight was okay.  She just printed the tag and put it on the counter. 

You went from a 500 pound gorilla behind a keyboard to a 90 year old Jewish broad from Cemetery Village real quick. Lol

I hate when it takes them a freaking hour to slice half a pound. You should see the slow pokes they have cutting cold cuts down here. Pay then by the slice.

[Heismanberg]

You went from a 500 pound gorilla behind a keyboard to a 90 year old Jewish broad from Cemetery Village real quick. Lol

I hate when it takes them a freaking for to slide half a pound. You should see the slow pokes they have cutting cold cuts down here. Pay then by the slice.

I'd prefer slow over illiterate.

[ukilledkenny]

Having worked at a deli I can tell you it isn't even hard to get within .01 of what the person asked for. After two weeks of weighing excrement out you should be right on more often than not on the first try.

[Johnny English]

There's a little Asian lady who works on the deli counter at my local grocery store, every time she serves me she puts the first couple of slices aside, slices the amount I asked for, prints the ticket and then puts the first two slice in the packet as well. To start with I put it down to my dashing good looks and charming English accent, but it turns out she does it for everyone. Guess she just hates her employer.

[Ignatius J Reilly]

Not being able to tell if I think an actress is attractive or not. Examples:
-Greta Gerwig
-Olivia Thirlby
-Emily Blunt

The worst part is that I thought I knew the answer to the last one.

Alternatively: Why am I attracted to women I don't think are pretty. I have no idea why I want to bang Maggie Gyllenhall and it's pissing me off.

Emily Blunt?  How the freak is that a question?

And JE will kill you for questioning Olivia Thirlby.