How to Dad

[Johnny English]

It's a bit political a discussion, but family leave should be a bigger issue in this country. We lag behind everyone in giving time off to new parents and it's terrible.

I get that there are people who'd never benefit because they never have kids, but we don't deny chemo to lung cancer patients simply because not all of us smoke.

Speaking as a non-parent, I listen to people squealing about how parental leave is so unfair on them and want to punch them in the nose. It's the height of small minded entitlement, crying and whining about how someone else is getting something that you're not. A civilised and functioning society provides its individual members with what they need in order to be happy and safe and productive, and those needs are different for each of us. If you're not a parent you don't need parental leave, if you are then you do.

[AlioTheFool]

Speaking as a non-parent, I listen to people squealing about how parental leave is so unfair on them and want to punch them in the nose. It's the height of small minded entitlement, crying and whining about how someone else is getting something that you're not. A civilised and functioning society provides its individual members with what they need in order to be happy and safe and productive, and those needs are different for each of us. If you're not a parent you don't need parental leave, if you are then you do.

Obviously you've heard the argument, so you know how utterly alien the concept is to the vast majority of non-parents. I agree with you. It's terribly small minded. Obviously it's not the same magnitude as my chemo example, but I think the example is reasonable.

Paid family leave (not just for parents but for caretakers of sick family members) is an embarrassment in the US. It's one thing I was 100% behind Bernie pushing for.

[JFIF]

Yes. Maybe done altogether.

you got a boy and a girl. it's a  pretty legit place to be.

Although accidents and brain chemistry can happen down the road, and you get the third.

[Ignatius J Reilly]

Yes. Maybe done altogether.

I was good with having 2 when my son was born, and since my wife couldn't have any more for her own health's sake.  Lately we've been wishing we could have had more, but that's just because they are older now.  I know your wife comes from a big family, so I don't know her thoughts.  It's crazy expensive to have more.  I dropped 2 grand on 3 weeks of soccer camp between the two of them not to mention all of the other excrement we do.  I can't imagine paying into a 3rd college fund either.

[Ignatius J Reilly]

Speaking as a non-parent, I listen to people squealing about how parental leave is so unfair on them and want to punch them in the nose. It's the height of small minded entitlement, crying and whining about how someone else is getting something that you're not. A civilised and functioning society provides its individual members with what they need in order to be happy and safe and productive, and those needs are different for each of us. If you're not a parent you don't need parental leave, if you are then you do.

The best is that episode of The Office when Jim takes extra time off as bonus paternity leave and everyone has to cover for him thinking he's on a business trip.  They're pissed until Pam brings the kids into the office and realize it's no vacation.  Those first several weeks are rough.  Paternity and Maternity leave aren't a vacation, which people without kids don't always fully realize.  It's providing what's best for the baby, not necessarily for the parents.  The bonding is huge, but a lot of it is just necessity.  We were fortunate to have our first kid when my wife was on summer break and I was still writing and didn't have to leave.  With my son, it was Christmas break and then my wife had a full month off and took additional time.  Everyone should be able to do that.

[Miamipuck]

Speaking as a non-parent, I listen to people squealing about how parental leave is so unfair on them and want to punch them in the nose. It's the height of small minded entitlement, crying and whining about how someone else is getting something that you're not. A civilised and functioning society provides its individual members with what they need in order to be happy and safe and productive, and those needs are different for each of us. If you're not a parent you don't need parental leave, if you are then you do.

Hey look I can agree with you on certain things.

[Miamipuck]

Yes. Maybe done altogether.

Maybe? you have the son to drive you nuts and a daughter that will make you worry to death. It's perfect.

[guinness77]

Speaking as a non-parent, I listen to people squealing about how parental leave is so unfair on them and want to punch them in the nose. It's the height of small minded entitlement, crying and whining about how someone else is getting something that you're not. A civilised and functioning society provides its individual members with what they need in order to be happy and safe and productive, and those needs are different for each of us. If you're not a parent you don't need parental leave, if you are then you do.

*starts a slow clap*

You know, I was denied fmla when my second daughter needed open heart surgery. I was stunned. I re-applied and got it the second time but I was flabbergasted it wasn't just given to me originally.

[ukilledkenny]

I still can't believe that we were one of the luckier couples in the u.s. in that my gf got 3.5 months off to stay with our daughter. I'm actually starting to be pretty glad I ended up being forced to switch to night shift because we can be with her almost the whole week and the gaps we have can be covered by grandparents. Even if we could afford a top notch infant care facility it can't compare to having a parent or grandparent with them when they are so small and vulnerable. 

[IATA]

its great up here, my woman is just finishing up her year of paid maternity leave, we get the child care benefit, which is (now) up to $1100 tax free dollars every month. shes going to be off paid mat leave until september, when she goes to school fulltime on a government issued, low(ish) interest rate loan while the kids are in public school and the youngest in our locally subsidized daycare, which cost us $30 a month for 7am-6pm m-f daycare at a fully accredited and regionally honored facility.

[ukilledkenny]

Haha wow. For a decent place we would be looking at 6-800 a month easy.

[Johnny English]

Haha wow. For a decent place we would be looking at 6-800 a month easy.

Yeah but we don't have guns or freedom and we're all socialists so you win.

[ukilledkenny]

My step mom bought my daughter a jets Jersey. Geno Smith was the only one whatever store she was in had. Not the best start to her jets fandom.

[Ignatius J Reilly]

My step mom bought my daughter a jets Jersey. Geno Smith was the only one whatever store she was in had. Not the best start to her jets fandom.

Unless you named her Braylon, it could be worse.

[Badger]