Halloween Ends but it gets better if you act like it's not a Halloween sequel.
OK, rewatched the DGG trilogy so I could get a better grasp on why I hated Ends so much (
SPOILERS:
-Laurie Stroud in Halloween (2018) and Halloween Kills vs. Laurie Stroud in Halloween Ends: Sarah Connor vs. some old grandma
We were introduced to a character who spent decades training in weapons and turning her cottage into a fortress/death trap just in case Michael Meyers ever escaped and came back. After Michael Meyers already escaped, came back, and killed Laurie's daughter only to kill an entire town mob and the disappear without a trace, Laurie decides to just relax for four years.
-Corey:
This is the biggest problem that I have with the movie. Corey's story line could have been a great movie if it had nothing to do with Michael Meyers. A guy who becomes a serial killer after being bullied and ostracized by the entire town, INCLUDING FOUR RANDOM MARCHING BAND KIDS, for an accident he caused is a great story line. Smashing it together with Michael Meyers is difficult to do because they really have nothing in common aside from the most generic possible efforts (e.g. "inner darkness", "dark path"...etc.). Ultimately, it doesn't feel like Halloween ends was originally written as a Halloween script. It feels like they adapted a different, unrelated script to work in the Halloween elements, kind of like Saw II but with, somehow, worse execution (goddamnit).
-Corey and Allyson:
This was so rushed they went through an entire 6 month relationship in the course of 2 days. Seriously, Laurie brings Corey to Allyson's office, hints that they should date because...reasons, and Allyson's immediate reaction is: you're my boyfriend now! Like, no character development, no actual growth, no exposition, just 0-60 only so they can have a fight so Corey has a reason to storm off alone in the middle of the night after a party. If this was JUST a movie about Corey becoming a serial/slasher killer and targeting the people he thinks are hurting his crush/girlfriend than this would be a great angle but they don't flesh it out at all. I know someone is going to say that it's a Halloween movie and I shouldn't be looking for too much plot development but, if it's a just supposed to be a Halloween movie than this would have hit the cutting room floor before it was even storyboarded and if they are going to include something like this than they should have put actual work into it. Either develop your ideas or leave them out. This is part of why I think that it was an adapted script and not written as a stand-alone movie.
Also, Corey: "If I can't have your grand daughter than nobody can!" *immediately cuts his own throat so now literally anyone who isn't Corey can have her* How did that line and that action make it through script editing? Was that some kind of shitty studio producer's note that DGG and Danny McBride didn't feel like fighting?
-Haddonfield
The entire population of this town makes absolutely zero sense. Michael Meyers completely disappeared 4 years after murdering an entire lynch mob and numerous citizens and there is no evidence that the town even bothered looking for him after that. Just, "Oh shucks, what a bummer! Also, freak Laurie." The only mentions of Michael Meyers are the kid in the beginning using him to taunt Corey while he's babysitting and other, random people in the town blaming Laurie for the attack because she somehow taunted Michael Meyers by hiding in a cottage away from the town and learning how to use a gun, and trying to kill him when he broke into her house and tried to kill her whole family. Like, multiple people frame the whole Michael Meyers massacre as Laurie taunting a man with a mental disorder. What kind of fucked up, nonsensical excrement is this? And Laurie's response to it being said to her is to just quietly nod and walk away.
Look, I'm completely OK with horror movies that are just about the kills with a loose narrative laid over top to get the killer from the start to his own grisly demise. What makes a lot of the 80s slasher genre great is that they utilize a minimalistic plot to get the focus on the killer and the main protagonist's actions instead of exposition and or excessive inter-personal relationships. However, that's not what Halloween Ends was presented as. DGG and McBride tried to throw a lot of higher concept ideas into the mix but failed to develop them properly. If you're not going to give these plot points the room they need, then don't use them. This movie felt like the studio said it serving boeuf bourguignon but instead it produced a bowl of lightly boiled ground beef with a bay leaf in it, carrot on the side, with a glass of red wine spilled into the carpet.
There. I'm done obsessing over hating this.
