"Cam Newton was possibly seen grimacing. His left cheek has a tiny scratch. His hair was slightly out of place to the left also, indicating a possible temporary case of Bell's palsy. There were rumors that his taint became visible for 2 seconds while being placed onto the stretcher and that it contained 473 hairs. His right elbow has evidence of mild ashiness, but not his left (chronic masturbator?). He was also noted to have potentially seen cursing right after the car stopped spinning and flipping, which could be the early stages of dementia from brain trauma. Further details to come.
"Oh yeah, there was another dude in the wreck. freak him, nobody cares."
