Dawgs

[SixFeetDeep]

Does anyone else’s dog continually trip the excrement out of them? Mine always follows me around the house and then pretty much inserts himself into my lane of movement and then stops. When I’m cooking or grabbing stuff out of the refrigerator I nearly kill myself on a daily basis

[bojanglesman]

Does anyone else’s dog continually trip the excrement out of them? Mine always follows me around the house and then pretty much inserts himself into my lane of movement and then stops. When I’m cooking or grabbing stuff out of the refrigerator I nearly kill myself on a daily basis

My dog farts.  Like "peel the paint off the walls" farts.

[SixFeetDeep]

My dog farts.  Like "peel the paint off the walls" farts.

There’s no way you don’t rip derriere near him in revenge

[bojanglesman]

There’s no way you don’t rip derriere near him in revenge

I do, but it's like farting at a hog farm.

[Badger]

My dog farts.  Like "peel the paint off the walls" farts.

When I worked at a warehouse in Binghamton the owner's Rottweiler had acid farts. That's the only way I can describe them. His farts would probably be banned under the Geneva Convention.

[bojanglesman]

When I worked at a warehouse in Binghamton the owner's Rottweiler had acid farts. That's the only way I can describe them. His farts would probably be banned under the Geneva Convention.

..

[CatoTheElder]

Does anyone else’s dog continually trip the excrement out of them? Mine always follows me around the house and then pretty much inserts himself into my lane of movement and then stops. When I’m cooking or grabbing stuff out of the refrigerator I nearly kill myself on a daily basis

Mine would do that. He'd stand under me while I was cooking and I'd constantly fight to not drop pans full of oil or knives on him. Thankfully that never happened but it did result in my kicking him (cairn terrier) across the floor on a couple of situations.

[SixFeetDeep]

Mine would do that. He'd stand under me while I was cooking and I'd constantly fight to not drop pans full of oil or knives on him. Thankfully that never happened but it did result in my kicking him (cairn terrier) across the floor on a couple of situations.

My dog is shaped like a cinderblock. He never bears the brunt of the collision.

Sometimes when he gets the zoomies and he’s running around he’ll bash his head on a table leg or something at full speed and looks completely unfazed, keeps playing. Prolly has more concussions than Scott Stevens

[Badger]

Sometimes when he gets the zoomies and he’s running around he’ll bash his head on a table leg or something at full speed

My kids do this

[delavan]

My dog farts.  Like "peel the paint off the walls" farts.

https://petcentral.chewy.com/how-to-stop-excessive-dog-farting-ready/

- good quality dog food
- exercise, lots.

Aside from the wife walking him, I make it a point to play-fight with him after coming home from work to the point where the little beast knows the drill and goes into playful-psycho mode as soon as I put the sock puppets on my hands.  When done he's panting, chilled out and will run over and affectionately curl up next to me when the wrassling and play biting's done.  Happy dog, fewer farts. 
 

[Miamipuck]

My dog is shaped like a cinderblock. He never bears the brunt of the collision.

Sometimes when he gets the zoomies and he’s running around he’ll bash his head on a table leg or something at full speed and looks completely unfazed, keeps playing. Prolly has more concussions than Scott Stevens

I wonder if dogs can get CTE. I hope not.

[mj2sexay]

My dog is shaped like a cinderblock. He never bears the brunt of the collision.

Sometimes when he gets the zoomies and he’s running around he’ll bash his head on a table leg or something at full speed and looks completely unfazed, keeps playing. Prolly has more concussions than Scott Stevens

Number 4! What a reference, though Scott gave more than he dished out.

Also, my dog gets scared when he farts (which thankfully isn't frequently) I guess because its an involuntary impulse that he can't control and I guess he's like "ay. AY! What's this explosion comin out of my butthole."

[Johnny English]

The way we stopped our dogs from farting was to raise up their food bowls. We were told that if you leave the bowls on the floor, they gulp in a lot of air as they're eating; by raising them up they don't need to do that. It seems to work.

[SixFeetDeep]

https://twitter.com/tristoncole_/status/1241436978391941121?s=21

[SixFeetDeep]

Jet was taking a nap on top of my pizza, I went to go get her credit card, came back and handed it to her, Jet woke up mid handoff and just assumed it was something edible and tried to take a big chomp out of it