Cato’s Corner Bar: Your Liver Delenda Est

[CatoTheElder]

Since I can’t go out and trashed at bars like I used to, I started learning how to mix my own instead of trying to create a sourdough starter. Here’s me sharing my favorites that I’ve made. Feel free to add your own...or call me gay. Whatever.

Note: I’m not going by exact conversion on all of my oz/ml conversions. Mostly I’m just going by what fill line to use as a reference on the inside of the jigger.

Today’s hangover helper:

Gordon’s Breakfast
-.75oz/22ml simple syrup
-2oz/60ml gin The original recipe used Gordons, hence the name, but any dry gin (Beefeater, Ford’s...etc) will do
-1 lime cut into wedges
-3 to four slices of cucumber
-4 dashes hot sauce (Cholulah works great here)
-2 dashes Worcestershire sauce

Toss it all in a shaker and then muddle together. Shake with crushed ice and dump it all into a rocks glass. Garnish with a small pinch of salt and ground pepper.

The reasons for today’s hangover:

Artillery (basically a sweet martini)
-1.5oz/45ml dry gin
-1.5oz/45ml sweet vermouth
-2 dashes orange bitters

Stir over ice and serve neat with an orange twist

The Vesper (sort of)
It’s technically impossible to recreate the Casino Royale recipe because Kina Lillet hasn’t been made since 1986 so either go with a blanc vermouth or another kina (quinine) based vermouth if you can find it.
-1.5oz/45ml dry gin (Bond used Gordon’s, but as with the first one in this post, anything dry works)
-.5oz/15ml vodka
-.5oz/15ml blanc or kina vermouth

Shake over ice (freak that, I stirred it) and serve neat with a lemon twist

The Brooklyn (Death&Co. Specs)
-2oz/60ml bonded rye whiskey
-.75oz/22ml dry vermouth
-.75oz/22ml Amaro CioCiaro
-1tsp/5ml maraschino liqueur

Stir over ice, serve neat with a maraschino cherry

Also, if anyone is interested, below are the links for my favorite cocktail channels:
Professional Bartenders:
The Educated Barfly: https://youtube.com/c/TheEducatedBarfly
Steve the Bartender: https://youtube.com/c/StevetheBartenderAUS
Behind the Bar: https://youtube.com/c/BehindtheBar
The Tipsy Bartender: https://youtube.com/c/TipsyBartender
Enthusiasts:
How To Drink: https://youtube.com/c/howtodrink
Cocktail Chemistry: https://youtube.com/c/CocktailChemistry
Hot Irish Models who Just Makes Cocktails at Home Because They’re Bored or Something, IDK but She’s Hot:
Cocktails with Ciara: https://youtube.com/c/CiaraODoherty

Also, r/cocktails is a great source: https://www.reddit.com/r/cocktails/

[MBGreen]

Solid thread

I have a fully stocked bar in my mancave...but outside of Caesars, I have no idea what I'm doing.

[reuben]

My buddy's fiance has been trying to shame me off of vodka martinis for the last few years.  I've never appreciated gin but she made a series of gimlets last New Years that opened my eyes a bit.  I'm going to commit to the transition once the world re-opens.

The Vesper seems like a good vessel for this.

[CatoTheElder]

Might as well post this one here now:

Whiskey Sour (or what I like to have before berating Delavan over flags)
-2oz/60ml rye or bourbon whiskey
-.75oz/22ml simple syrup
-.75oz/22ml lemon juice
-1 egg white (optional)

Add ingredients to shaker and shake over ice. Serve either neat or over ice, your call. Add a few drops of Angostura bitters over the top.

Alternate methods if you are using egg whites:

Dry Shake:
Same specs as before. Shake all ingredients without any ice (dry shake) this should allow the whites to emulsify more and create a thicker and lighter body to the drink. Then open the shaker and add ice and shake again for about 8 to 10 seconds to chill then strain and server above.

Reverse Dry Shake:
This is a more labor intensive version. Same specs as the first. Add all ingredients except the egg white to your shaker and shake over ice, then strain the drink back into your shaker and dump the ice. NOW add the egg white and dry shake it. Pour into your glass and serve same as the first. Supposedly this keeps the ice from thinning out the emulsion. I honestly can’t tell the difference between this and a normal dry shake.

New York Sour:
-2oz/60ml rye our bourbon whiskey
-.75oz/22ml lemon juice
-.75oz/22ml simple syrup
-1 egg white (optional, not recommended)
-1 bar spoon red wine or port

Add ingredients to shaker and shake over ice like the first recipe. Strain into a rocks glass and float the bar spoon worth of red wine or port on top. The final effect should be a layered cocktail with wine floating on the surface. This is why I say the egg white is not recommended as when I find the wine tends to sink and blend into the rest of the drink when it is added.

Bonus Recipe:
Prairie Oyster:
-1 egg yolk
-2 dashes hot sauce
-2 dashes Worcestershire sauce
-Pinch of salt
-Pinch of ground pepper
-.5oz/15ml dry gin or vodka (optional)

I usually make these along with an egg white drink, or I save the yolk to make them later. These are my go-to hangover cure. I usually keep them non-alcoholic but you do you.

[CatoTheElder]

Basic equipment list: Despite the amount of time I spent in bars I had no idea what some of these terms meant so I figured I’d share this part as well incase anyone else needed it.

Necessities:
-Shaker tins:
Boston Shaker: There are a couple of variations on this but essentially it is one large metal tin that fits over either a smaller metal tin or pint glass. Either are good but I feel that you get a better seal with two metal tins (tin-on-tin) versus the pint glass, and it is infinitely less likely that I’m going to somehow break the tin-on-tin set than I will a set that includes glass.

Parisian Shaker: Cooler looking, smaller cousin of the Boston shaker. These ones utilize a similar design except the fit is a lot more precise. These can be very difficult to open if you shake them too long as the metal contracts on itself and it’s a lot more difficult to smack them open when you need to.

Cobbler Shaker: This is what a lot of people think of when they think of shaker tins. Three pieces including a middle section with a built in strainer. I hate them. They’re even more difficult to open up when they get stuck and you have to keep shaker moving as you pour it or the built in strainer gets clogged. Direct quote from one of the cocktail books I have: “I’ve thrown them away more often then I’ve been able to open them.” -Jeffery Morganthaler, The Bar Book.

-Hawthorne Strainer: A strainer with a spring around its edge that fits inside a shaker tin. This allows you to control how much ice and ice chips (to an extent) into your serving glass by pushing body of the strainer towards the lip of the shaker tin. You want to go for one with tighter spiraled spring as this will help strain out more ice and particles.

-Bar Spoon: A long, spiral handled spoon used to stir drinks or measure out small portions of ingredients. They’re also strong enough to crack large cubes of ice, if you need to do that for any reason.

-Jigger: A measuring device that was the inspiration for one of the worst jokes on party down. They come in a variety of sizes and appearances. They typically run from 2-4oz/60-120ml max capacities. I like the double sided ones, some prefer the ones that look like measuring cups. Oxo makes a great version of the latter.

-Muddler: A  stick used to crush citrus or herbs to extract oils and juices for a drink. They come in a variety of materials but the biggest suggestion that I have is to get one that has a flat bottom rather than a spiked one.

Optionals
-Mixing glasses: Pint glass sized or larger, decorative glasses with heavy bottoms used to mix drinks that do not include ingredients that have to be shaken (juices, egg parts, cream...etc). You absolutely do not need to buy one of these unless you have to stir drinks for more than 4 people. The larger portion of any shaker works perfectly fine, or just use a pint glass.

-Julep strainer: A wide, flat spoon with a lot of holes poked in it. Originally used to hold back ice in a julep, it’s now mostly used to strain drinks poured out of mixing glass. A Hawethorne strainer easily accomplishes this.

-Tea Strainer: A small, bowl shaped strainer utilized in double straining. Typically you would pour your drink from your tin through a Hawethorne strainer into your tea strainer, into your glass. If you are someone who doesn’t want small ice chips or debris from any fruits, vegetables, herbs, in your drink then you will want this. Most professional high end bartenders will double strain their drinks unless the presentation requires that they don’t.

-Juicer: Comes in a couple of varieties. The two handled press version is good for juicing limes and lemons. Larger citrus like oranges and grapefruits typically require the kind that you have to grind the fruit against. There are also numerous electric versions. These are only necessary if you want to use fresh citrus juice in your drinks. I’d advise you do but seems like it belongs down here.

-Lewis Bag: A burlap sack used to crush ice. The burlap absorbs melting water as the ice is crushed leaving you with “drier” ice. You can just use a towel.

-Ice Mallet: A mallet used to crush ice in a lewis bag. You can also use a meat tenderizer, the flat part of a heavy chef’s knife, a frying pan, MB’s forehead...etc.

Garnish Equipment
-Peeler: Used to peel twists and strips off of citrus fruits.

-Toothipcks: Spear small garnishes like olives, cherries, berries...etc.

EDIT: I remembered a couple of things.

[Badger]

Shot and a beer:
-1 shot, any whiskey
-1 beer

Shoot the shot and then drink the beer.

[Johnny English]

Shot and a beer:
-1 shot, any whiskey
-1 beer

Shoot the shot and then drink the beer.

Interesting. We do a similar thing, except that we drink the beer first and then shoot the whiskey.

[CatoTheElder]

My buddy's fiance has been trying to shame me off of vodka martinis for the last few years.  I've never appreciated gin but she made a series of gimlets last New Years that opened my eyes a bit.  I'm going to commit to the transition once the world re-opens.

The Vesper seems like a good vessel for this.

Vespers are a good option but they are exceedingly boozy. Gin martinis tend to hit me harder than vodka martinis as it is so adding the extra spirits puts me in a hurt if I have more than one.

I wasn’t a big gin fan until a few years ago and at that point I would just restrict myself to gin and tonics. This past year I’ve expanded out a lot more but I’ve also found out that gin hangovers are my second worst; the worst being cider hangovers.

Here’s my gin martini recipe if you want to cut down the alcohol content and use some easier to find ingredients:

Gin Martini:
-2oz/60mil gin (dry gin or genever both work well here for me, depending on your mood)
-1oz/30ml dry vermouth
-1 to 2 dashes of orange bitters

Stir over ice and serve neat with an orange or lemon twist. If you prefer olives for garnish, omit the orange bitters.

This reminds me, a good gin cocktail for people who hate Gin:

The Bee’s Knees:
-2oz/60ml dry gin
-.75oz/22ml lemon juice
-.75oz/22ml honey syrup (combine 1 to 3 parts honey to 1 part water and heat until combined)

Shake over ice and serve neat with lemon wedge or twist.

If you don’t like gin but can stomach sweet drinks, this is a great option.

[CatoTheElder]

Shot and a beer:
-1 shot, any whiskey
-1 beer

Shoot the shot and then drink the beer.

Interesting. We do a similar thing, except that we drink the beer first and then shoot the whiskey.

The George Thorogood
-1 glass bourbon (any, preferably cheap)
-1 glass scotch (any, preferably cheap)
-1 beer (any can, bottle, or draught, preferably cheap)

Drink all three, be a dirty piece of excrement.

[reuben]

the worst being cider hangovers.

It's the sugar

[Badger]

The George Thorogood
-1 glass bourbon (any, preferably cheap)
-1 glass scotch (any, preferably cheap)
-1 beer (any can, bottle, or draught, preferably cheap)

Drink all three, be a dirty piece of excrement.

I own a Destroyers tee that is older than I am.

[Badger]

It's the sugar

I've experienced this as well but isn't low blood sugar a factor in some hangovers?

[reuben]

I've experienced this as well but isn't low blood sugar a factor in some hangovers?

Right, so it's a regular hangover and sugar crash LBS combined. 

[CatoTheElder]

It's the sugar

I’m aware. Painfully.

[CatoTheElder]

Time to discuss the cause of tomorrow’s hangover: the old fashioned. This is probably my favorite cocktail and is derived from the drink that the word cocktail originally referred to before it became a catch all for mixed alcoholic beverages.

First, a brief history* because I want you all to hate me more than you already do: The origin of the cocktail was a drink from around the 1840-50s consisting of spirit (originally Holland gin or brandy were just as, if not more common than, whiskey), water (as ice was not prevalent at that point) sugar, bitters stirred together and served at room temperature.

Once ice became more accessible bartenders shifted to syrups since normal sugar would not dissolve as well in colder drinks, and eventually start adding in other liqueurs like absinthe, curaçao, and maraschino and generally being garnished with whatever they could grab.

Being new, it immediately pissed people off who didn’t want the fancy crap and just wanted it made the old fashioned way. What followed was a basic formula for what we now expect to get when we yell, “Two old fashioneds!” over the other drunks at the bar, trying to defend our kidneys from everyone else elbowing in to one open spot at the bar:

THE Old Fashioned (credit: How to Drink)
-2oz/60ml of whiskey
-1 sugar cube
-Angostura bitters

Add one sugar cube to your glass and soak it in Angostura bitters. Add your whiskey (Rye probably would have been the most common), add ice, and stir to chill (you are not going to get the sugar to dissolve completely). Take a lemon or orange twist and squeeze it over the glass, rub the expressed twist over the rim, and then drop it in.

Thanks for everyone who read that. For everyone who skipped it: I’ve been sexting your wife for the last 6 months and you really need to expand your imagination in bed. Below are the base recipe and a few variations. As for the specs, the simple syrup and bitters content are just suggestions. You can make it as sweet or bitter as you’d like.

Old Fashioned
-2oz/60ml base spirit
-.5oz/15ml simple syrup (use less if you want it less sweet)
-2 dashes Angostura bitters

Stir over ice and and strain over rocks glass, over ice, squeeze orange or lemon twist over the glass and garnish by placing expressed twist in the tlass. If you are making one, you can just add the contents to the glass you’re going to drink it out of, add ice, stir, and serve/drink.

Variations:
Wisconsin Old Fashioned
-2oz/60ml brandy
-.5oz/15ml simple syrup
-2 dashes angostura bitters
-1 thin orange wedge
-1 maraschino cherry

For the best results, build this one individually in the glass. Add syrup, bitters, orange wedge, and cherry to glass and muddle together into a rough paste. Add brandy and fill the glass halfway to two thirds with crushed ice and stir. Top off the glass with more crushed ice and serve with a straw (or without the straw).

New Jersey Old Fashioned (Creation of mine, [sort of], inspired by a video from How to Drink) (Badger: blah blah blah New Jersey sucks something something New York Light)
-2oz/60ml Lairds Bonded** Straight Apple Brandy (or any type of applejack you can find)
-.5oz/8ml cinnamon syrup***
-2 dashes Angostura bitters
-1 dash orange bitters

Same preparation as first recipe.

Spicy Tequila Old Fashioned (Credit: My favorite bartender at one of DC’s first speakeasy bars that is now closed)
-2oz/60ml tequila
-.5oz/15ml simple syrup
-2 dashes habanero bitters

Add syrup, bitters, and tequila to glass and stir over ice. Coat the rim of the serving glass with lime juice and then dip the outside of the rim in a mixture of salt and chili powder (if you’re building it in the glass, do this first). Serve over ice.

Oaxaca Old Fashioned
-1.5oz/45ml reposado tequila
-.5oz/15ml mezcal
-1 bar spoon agave syrup
-1 to 2 dashes Angostura bitters

Same preparation as the first recipe.

Rum Old Fashioned (credit: How to Drink)
-2oz/60ml pot stilled/Jamaican rum (Smith and Cross Navy Strength - 114 proof - is what will kill me tonight)
-.25oz/8ml simple syrup
-2 dashes Angostura bitters
-3 lime wheels

Like the Wisconsin old fashioned, this one is best built in the glass. Add lime wheels, syrup and bitters to the glass and muddle together into a rough paste. Add your rum and ice and stir to combine. Now drink it.

*For a better telling, take a look at Imbibe! by Dave Wondrich

**Since most people in the world, and therefore most people on this board, are smarter than I am a lot of you probably already know what bonded or bottled-in-bond means when it is placed on a bottle of liquor. On the off chance you don’t, here’s a brief primer:

Bonded liquor is one of the first quality control measures taken up by the US government on food stuffs. Short version backstory: jerk distillers were watering down their bourbon, making bourbon whiskey quite crap. In order to keep whiskey and other liquors from being diluted or outright poisoned, the Bottled-in-Bond Act of 1897 was established, setting the following standards:
-The liquor must be the product of one distilling season (Jan-Jun or Jul-Dec)
-The liquor must be distilled by a single distiller at a single distillery
-The liquor must be aged in barrels at a bonded (hence the name) warehouse under US government supervision (Treasury Department) for four years minimum.
-The liquor must be bottled at 50% alcohol/100 proof
-The liquor must be bottled by a single distiller at a single distiller
-If the distilling and bottling distillery are different entities, both distillery names must be printed on the label.
-The liquor must be distilled, aged, and bottled entirely in the US in order to be eligible to be labeled as bonded/bottled-in-bond
Distilleries were given a number of tax incentives to get them to buy in to the program and now we have 100 proof whiskey to add a little kick to our cocktails.

The most common bonded bottles that I buy:
-Evan Williams Bottled-in-bond (white label)
-Old Grandad Bonded Bourbon
-Rittenhouse Bottled-in-bond Rye
-Old Overholt Bonded Rye

***mix 2 parts sugar with 1 part water and 3-4 cinnamon sticks, bring to a boil and then reduce to a bare simmer for up to 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Let cool completely then discard cinnamon sticks.