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https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2023/04/24/dead-texas-cows-cattle/11726978002/
The New Jersey Devil keeps knocking over my trashcans at night and taking out credit cards in my name.
https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/sunderland-cctv-b1076742.html
Dennis?
https://cbsaustin.com/news/offbeat/couples-choreographed-suicide-by-guillotine-ends-with-heads-rolling-into-fire-altar
"Hello good sir GM, may we pretty please have your throwaway centers and gords please??!? I'll suck yo'dick!"