Author Topic: I own a house?  (Read 41576 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

bojanglesman

  • Don Maynard
  • *************
  • Posts: 38554
Re: I own a house?
« Reply #390 on: September 09, 2021, 10:27:10 AM »
Agreed a deal a couple of months ago to buy a house off market from an older couple who are moving into a retirement community (nothing sketchy, I am paying them fair market price). We take possession October 1st so did a walkthrough today to determine what work we need to do to it before we can rent it out. As we're going through the old boy says to me, "Oh, there is one thing I need to show you in the basement workshop." He pulls a paper calendar aside on one of the walls to reveal a safe. "We don't have the code for this so we've never opened it. We were told it was empty by the guy we bought the house from 14 years ago, but because he was in the early stages of dementia he couldn't remember the code for it either."

I wonder how one goes about hiring a safecracker.

Call a locksmith and see if they know anyone.  Can't do it till October anyway.

reuben

  • Al Toon
  • ********
  • Posts: 10117
  • Hello, my name is Reuben.
Re: I own a house?
« Reply #391 on: September 09, 2021, 11:24:22 AM »
Agreed a deal a couple of months ago to buy a house off market from an older couple who are moving into a retirement community (nothing sketchy, I am paying them fair market price). We take possession October 1st so did a walkthrough today to determine what work we need to do to it before we can rent it out. As we're going through the old boy says to me, "Oh, there is one thing I need to show you in the basement workshop." He pulls a paper calendar aside on one of the walls to reveal a safe. "We don't have the code for this so we've never opened it. We were told it was empty by the guy we bought the house from 14 years ago, but because he was in the early stages of dementia he couldn't remember the code for it either."

I wonder how one goes about hiring a safecracker.

You just put on a pair of Ray-Ban's and say "I'm putting together a team" and then there's a brief montage and thirty seconds later you've got your safecracker. 

MBGreen

  • Indian Death Lock
  • Administrator
  • Curtis Martin
  • *****
  • Posts: 45385
  • Chest hair for miles and miles.
Re: I own a house?
« Reply #392 on: September 09, 2021, 11:25:11 AM »
Agreed a deal a couple of months ago to buy a house off market from an older couple who are moving into a retirement community (nothing sketchy, I am paying them fair market price). We take possession October 1st so did a walkthrough today to determine what work we need to do to it before we can rent it out. As we're going through the old boy says to me, "Oh, there is one thing I need to show you in the basement workshop." He pulls a paper calendar aside on one of the walls to reveal a safe. "We don't have the code for this so we've never opened it. We were told it was empty by the guy we bought the house from 14 years ago, but because he was in the early stages of dementia he couldn't remember the code for it either."

I wonder how one goes about hiring a safecracker.

C4 plastic explosives are effective....or so i hear.
Quote from: bojanglesman
"Hello good sir GM, may we pretty please have your throwaway centers and gords please??!?  I'll suck yo'dick!"

Badger

  • Global Moderator
  • Joe Namath
  • *****
  • Posts: 51637
  • The only one who's not a piece of excrement
Re: I own a house?
« Reply #393 on: September 09, 2021, 12:06:19 PM »
Probably just full of tiny First Nations skeletons

MBGreen

  • Indian Death Lock
  • Administrator
  • Curtis Martin
  • *****
  • Posts: 45385
  • Chest hair for miles and miles.
Re: I own a house?
« Reply #394 on: September 09, 2021, 12:17:43 PM »
Probably just full of tiny First Nations skeletons

doubt it....they were probably burned to heat the house.
Quote from: bojanglesman
"Hello good sir GM, may we pretty please have your throwaway centers and gords please??!?  I'll suck yo'dick!"

CatoTheElder

  • Mark Gastineau
  • *********
  • Posts: 18669
Re: I own a house?
« Reply #395 on: September 14, 2021, 01:33:55 PM »
You just put on a pair of Ray-Ban's and say "I'm putting together a team" and then there's a brief montage and thirty seconds later you've got your safecracker. 

You son of a bitch, I'm i....HEY WAIT STOP THAT!!!
Quote
The New Jersey Devil keeps knocking over my trashcans at night and taking out credit cards in my name.

Badger

  • Global Moderator
  • Joe Namath
  • *****
  • Posts: 51637
  • The only one who's not a piece of excrement
Re: I own a house?
« Reply #396 on: January 14, 2022, 02:25:47 PM »

MBGreen

  • Indian Death Lock
  • Administrator
  • Curtis Martin
  • *****
  • Posts: 45385
  • Chest hair for miles and miles.
Re: I own a house?
« Reply #397 on: January 14, 2022, 02:35:12 PM »
Quote from: bojanglesman
"Hello good sir GM, may we pretty please have your throwaway centers and gords please??!?  I'll suck yo'dick!"

bojanglesman

  • Don Maynard
  • *************
  • Posts: 38554
Re: I own a house?
« Reply #398 on: January 14, 2022, 03:34:07 PM »
worth it for the moat.

Wish I had a moat.

Miamipuck

  • Puckstapo
  • Wayne Chrebet
  • ***********
  • Posts: 26347
  • I didn't order assholes with my whiskey.
Re: I own a house?
« Reply #399 on: January 14, 2022, 04:04:26 PM »
Agreed a deal a couple of months ago to buy a house off market from an older couple who are moving into a retirement community (nothing sketchy, I am paying them fair market price). We take possession October 1st so did a walkthrough today to determine what work we need to do to it before we can rent it out. As we're going through the old boy says to me, "Oh, there is one thing I need to show you in the basement workshop." He pulls a paper calendar aside on one of the walls to reveal a safe. "We don't have the code for this so we've never opened it. We were told it was empty by the guy we bought the house from 14 years ago, but because he was in the early stages of dementia he couldn't remember the code for it either."

I wonder how one goes about hiring a safecracker.

Watch Red Notice again, and you should be able to open it yourself.
<----Would you say Jetoffensive is a Flock, a Herd or a Gaggle of assholes? <-------- Would you like to know more!

Johnny English

  • Administrator
  • Don Maynard
  • *****
  • Posts: 35779
  • Effort. Technique. Violence.
Re: I own a house?
« Reply #400 on: January 14, 2022, 04:19:58 PM »
Watch Red Notice again, and you should be able to open it yourself.

When we renovated the place we pulled it out of the wall and took an angle grinder to it. It was empty.
A cross-dressing limey poofter

bojanglesman

  • Don Maynard
  • *************
  • Posts: 38554
Re: I own a house?
« Reply #401 on: February 13, 2022, 04:13:17 PM »
Built this today for my beer fridge on the porch.  Gonna paint it later.  I borrowed a Kreg jig and learned how to do pocket holes.  I don't know much about woodworking, but I'm willing to drink and try.

Johnny English

  • Administrator
  • Don Maynard
  • *****
  • Posts: 35779
  • Effort. Technique. Violence.
Re: I own a house?
« Reply #402 on: February 13, 2022, 04:31:14 PM »
That looks pretty good.
A cross-dressing limey poofter

CatoTheElder

  • Mark Gastineau
  • *********
  • Posts: 18669
Re: I own a house?
« Reply #403 on: May 03, 2022, 01:52:42 PM »
I noticed what I thought was brown moss/lichen growing up from my floor boards. Took a few photos and posted to the r/homeimprovemnt for questions on how to pull up the floor boards and replace them. Turns out it's mold. On the phone with insurance now and I feel really, REALLY bad about touching it to get a photo.
Quote
The New Jersey Devil keeps knocking over my trashcans at night and taking out credit cards in my name.

bojanglesman

  • Don Maynard
  • *************
  • Posts: 38554
Re: I own a house?
« Reply #404 on: May 03, 2022, 01:56:24 PM »
I noticed what I thought was brown moss/lichen growing up from my floor boards. Took a few photos and posted to the r/homeimprovemnt for questions on how to pull up the floor boards and replace them. Turns out it's mold. On the phone with insurance now and I feel really, REALLY bad about touching it to get a photo.
No worse than touching the portajohns at the tailgate.

Tags: