The Latrine

[Badger]

http://phys.org/news/2013-11-university-physicists-urine-splash-back-tactics.html

[bojanglesman]

That was a good read.  I think I've been doing it right except maybe I need to get closer.

[Heismanberg]

I can usually make it through the day without having to take a dump at school.  But when it hits me, I like to go down to the media center because the handicapped stall in there is a dump-taking fortress.

I wandered over there and walk in...awful freaking smell hits me.  Someone is in my stall.  I don't want to leave because I've come to far, so I go into the able-bodied pooper and the smell gets even worse.  I can't do it.

I leave and walk about 200 yards of hallways to the faculty lounge whilst prairie dogging it.  By the time I get there, I'm sweating my derriere off from pure exhaustion...I walk into the men's room and it's just a sink, a toilet, and a urinal on the wall. 

Release the hounds. 

Walk out, bundle of sticks science teacher is waiting to use it, give him a nod, and he walked towards his impending death. 

[bojanglesman]

Nice.  That's turd justice. You got to dish one out after taking one.

[Badger]

Last night I had a big bowl of oreo ice cream.

This evening, Jesus wept.

[Johnny English]

Had to visit a different part of my office building this morning, this part has six floors and two are empty. Decided to try my security pass on one of those floors and amazingly it worked. Am now enjoying a silent eight cubicle bathroom all to myself. All future office shits will be conducted in this oasis of poo.

[bojanglesman]

Had to visit a different part of my office building this morning, this part has six floors and two are empty. Decided to try my security pass on one of those floors and amazingly it worked. Am now enjoying a silent eight cubicle bathroom all to myself. All future office shits will be conducted in this oasis of poo.

I'm jealous.  We have 2 bathrooms that are in heavy use.  I take that bad boy over for a good 10 minutes when I'm in control though.

[Tommy]

I hate it when I have to go after all the stalls are taken. It makes me hate the people inside with a passion.

[Koz]

I hate it when I have to go after all the stalls are taken. It makes me hate the people inside with a passion.

Are you going to have to go back to squatting?

[Tommy]

Are you going to have to go back to squatting?

Haha. I've tried that before. Not a fan. Definitely not a fan.

[AlioTheFool]

At my previous job I worked on a floor with only 4 other men, everyone else was a woman. The bathroom was just a toilet, a sink, and a window with a view of the Manhattan skyline. I miss that bathroom.

[Fenwyr]

At my previous job I worked on a floor with only 4 other men, everyone else was a woman. The bathroom was just a toilet, a sink, and a window with a view of the Manhattan skyline. I miss that bathroom.

That sounds dreamy.

[bojanglesman]

I've taken one dump in 2 days.  Now my wife is driving us home down a windy mountain road so I have motion sickness.  I feel like blasting out of both ends.

[Fenwyr]

I've taken one dump in 2 days.  Now my wife is driving us home down a windy mountain road so I have motion sickness.  I feel like blasting out of both ends.

I call BS.  Nobody lets their wife drive and lives to tell about it.

[bojanglesman]

I call BS.  Nobody lets their wife drive and lives to tell about it.

I'm not a good driver on long trips.  I don't pay attention, miss turns and pee everyone off.  I'd rather let her drive and bitch like an old man about her driving from the passenger seat.