Jet Offensive
Other Stuff => The Pats-Hater Parking Lot => Topic started by: Badger on March 03, 2022, 11:51:36 AM
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We definitely need to have a category for movies on this board that sits between "good" and "crap".
I like the polarization, it leads to fun discussions.
No, it leads to MB posting excrement 80s movies and me posting excrement current movies in the wrong thread, and Cato periodically having a tantrum about it.
Discuss
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Parasite
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Parasite
freak off, mate
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This should not be a Potty thread.
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This should not be a Potty thread.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20220303/5346497312966b92de8b2641103e7af8.jpg)
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freak off, mate
3 min response time....you're getting slow, old man.
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3 min response time....you're getting slow, old man.
I don't have the juice anymore
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John Candy was Canada's finest actor. Fight me.
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I don't have the juice anymore
Snort a few lines of NoXplode
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John Candy was Canada's finest actor. Fight me.
The Great Outdoors is a classic
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The Great Outdoors is a classic
I prefer Summer Rental
Yorku!
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I prefer Summer Rental
Yorku!
might be the only John Candy movie i've never seen
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might be the only John Candy movie i've never seen
Blasphemy!
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Blasphemy!
I almost saw it in theaters when it came out back in 85, but we went to see National Lampoon's European Vacation instead.
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John Candy was Canada's finest actor. Fight me.
I have never seen a John Candy movie I wouldn't happily rewatch any time.
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Holy smokes, he's cookin' our garbage
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https://collider.com/jason-momoa-fast-and-furious-10-villain-casting/
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Canada: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cr_7jC_v9xA
USofA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUuEWI6F3dQ
Paul Newman FTW: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRdIXmfm6PA
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Canada: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cr_7jC_v9xA
USofA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUuEWI6F3dQ
Paul Newman FTW: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRdIXmfm6PA
Slap Shot is so beloved up here that it's pretty much become Canadian by adoption. I'm not convinced that I won't be asked to quote lines from it on my citizenship test (and I'll be able to do it as well).
Both of those movies belong firmly in the Good Movies thread.
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JE forgot we made this thread just for him and MB
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JE forgot we made this thread just for him and MB
my shitposting spreads faster than Omicron, son.
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Slapshot ain't no freaking middling movie, I'll throwdown with anyone that says that.
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Slapshot ain't no freaking middling movie, I'll throwdown with anyone that says that.
amen brutha
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amen brutha
Yeah ban Delevan for putting that here.
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Yeah ban Delevan for putting that here.
I haven't ascertained if delevan is human or a computer virus.
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I haven't ascertained if delevan is human or a computer virus.
yes
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Yeah ban Delevan for putting that here.
Puck, you missed the gist of my post. I put that CANADIAN movie 'Goon' as a "middling movie enjoyed by Canadians" vis-a-vis a great AMERICAN movie like Slapshot...the faux jingoism aside. Paul Newman telling the unscrupulous owner her son's on the road to cocksucking was epic and I thought pretty much underscored the 'hail snapshot' intent. Truth be told, I've never seen 'Goon' so take this for what it's worth but the trailer for Goon looked somewhat meh/forced versus the subversive humor of Slapshot.
I haven't ascertained if delevan is human or a computer virus.
Let me get back to you on that..
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Puck, you missed the gist of my post. I put that CANADIAN movie 'Goon' as a "middling movie enjoyed by Canadians" vis-a-vis a great AMERICAN movie like Slapshot...the faux jingoism aside. Paul Newman telling the unscrupulous owner her son's on the road to cocksucking was epic and I thought pretty much underscored the 'hail snapshot' intent. Truth be told, I've never seen 'Goon' so take this for what it's worth but the trailer for Goon looked somewhat meh/forced versus the subversive humor of Slapshot.
Let me get back to you on that..
Goon is awesome...it was filmed in Winnipeg.
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Fubar and Fubar 2 belong in this thread. Fubar 2 was better than Parasite.
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Goon is awesome...it was filmed in Winnipeg.
Strike one.. ; )
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/56/Welcome_to_Winnipeg.JPG/320px-Welcome_to_Winnipeg.JPG)
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d7/Manitoba.jpg/320px-Manitoba.jpg)
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Puck, you missed the gist of my post. I put that CANADIAN movie 'Goon' as a "middling movie enjoyed by Canadians" vis-a-vis a great AMERICAN movie like Slapshot...the faux jingoism aside. Paul Newman telling the unscrupulous owner her son's on the road to cocksucking was epic and I thought pretty much underscored the 'hail snapshot' intent. Truth be told, I've never seen 'Goon' so take this for what it's worth but the trailer for Goon looked somewhat meh/forced versus the subversive humor of Slapshot.
Let me get back to you on that..
I will allow it.
Goon is a middling movie- The American Pie guy can't even skate by accident. Meh
Newman oth actually looked like a hockey player.
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I will allow it.
Goon is a middling movie- The American Pie guy can't even skate by accident. Meh
Newman oth actually looked like a hockey player.
I had both movies in my watch queue for so long that they're not available anymore. Need to wait for them to circle back around.
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I had both movies in my watch queue for so long that they're not available anymore. Need to wait for them to circle back around.
If you play hockey and can't quote Slapshot, you're really putting a target on your locker room back. Anyway, it's top 1 or 2 sports comedies imo.
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If you play hockey and can't quote Slapshot, you're really putting a target on your locker room back. Anyway, it's top 1 or 2 sports comedies imo.
Slapshot has one of the best soundtracks
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Slapshot has one of the best soundtracks
And fwiw, looking at the above posts it's engendered comments.. :-)
https://memes.getyarn.io/yarn-clip/67d914bb-d1b2-4809-b081-25402b2d1794/gif
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Probably not safe for work- foul language
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxWE6pnuPzo&ab_channel=Movieclips (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxWE6pnuPzo&ab_channel=Movieclips)
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Metal Lords is a teen drama by the numbers with a completely predictable plot that has been done a hundred times, but it's well acted and quite funny, and the music is ace.
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Canadian film about a woman's quest to secure a liquor license
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Xza8mhaS8M&t=5s
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Canadian film about a woman's quest to secure a liquor license
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Xza8mhaS8M&t=5s
dude...make your pick in the Mock draft lol
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dude...make your pick in the Mock draft lol
*gulp* sorry, will do, pronto
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*gulp* sorry, will do, pronto
Thanks babbie
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Uncharted was silly and fun, but it was objectively a crap movie. Tom Holland and Mark Wahlberg were fun together so it passed a couple of hours without causing offense.
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https://youtu.be/WhD3xAIZzeg (https://youtu.be/WhD3xAIZzeg)
I was hopeful but this looks like an awful lot of shitty CGI.
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https://youtu.be/WhD3xAIZzeg (https://youtu.be/WhD3xAIZzeg)
I was hopeful but this looks like an awful lot of shitty CGI.
Bad CGI or not this is going to be good. I believe in Dan Trachtenberg.
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That looks so bad.
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Get back in your hole, MB.
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"Things" (1989)
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b9/CFC-Logo.jpg)
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Get back in your hole, MB.
(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20221101/cda87f58dd216fc669cc80f09bed26fc.gif)
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This looks dumb but it looks like a lot of fun. I think it belongs here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a53e4HHnx_s (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a53e4HHnx_s)
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This looks dumb but it looks like a lot of fun. I think it belongs here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a53e4HHnx_s (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a53e4HHnx_s)
Yes! Saw this preview before Terrifer 2. My wife and I looked at each other and she said "fiinnee."
so I'll be seeing this one in theaters.
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This looks dumb but it looks like a lot of fun. I think it belongs here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a53e4HHnx_s (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a53e4HHnx_s)
I feel like I probably just watched the whole movie in two and a half minutes, but I'll still watch it. Looks like a combination of Home Alone, Die Hard and Commando.
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I feel like I probably just watched the whole movie in two and a half minutes, but I'll still watch it. Looks like a combination of Home Alone, Die Hard and Commando.
It looks like the only thing David Harbour should be doing after Stranger Things ends.
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Should be a double feature with Fatman.
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https://hellgatenyc.com/avatar-way-of-water-hair-sex-yes-or-no
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https://hellgatenyc.com/avatar-way-of-water-hair-sex-yes-or-no
gonna try this with the wife tonight.
oh excrement...forgot i was bald.
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gonna try this with the wife tonight.
oh excrement...forgot i was bald.
Use your derriere hair
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Use your derriere hair
(https://media.tenor.com/cH9gfgKqp-cAAAAC/umm-wait.gif)
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https://hellgatenyc.com/avatar-way-of-water-hair-sex-yes-or-no
The most interesting thing about Avatar was that one SNL skit about the papyrus font.
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The Grey Man is right up your treadmill alley JE, if you can get past the lead.
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The Grey Man is right up your treadmill alley JE, if you can get past the lead.
I watched it a while back, even by treadmill standards it was pretty awful.
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The Vault. Generic and formulaic heist movie. Inoffensive way to pass a couple of hours.
Jurassic World: Dominion. If you liked the other Jurassic movies you'll like this, if you didn't you won't. I did. YMMV.
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Throwing this in here because reasons
https://twitter.com/REbr0/status/1611735925385723904?s=19
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Watching The Pale Blue Eye. For a movie set in upstate New York and involving the United States Military Academy the cast is way too British.
I've seen worse.
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Watching The Pale Blue Eye. For a movie set in upstate New York and involving the United States Military Academy the cast is way too British.
I've seen worse.
Watching it too, but I'm going to break for the game. It's meh. Should be better considering the cast.
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Watching it too, but I'm going to break for the game. It's meh. Should be better considering the cast.
Same guy who directed Out of the Furnace, so can't say I'm surprised. It's better than Out of the Furnace.
EDIT: NVM, the twist ruined it.
Also, I hate Harry Melling. GOOD ACTING IS SHOUTING IN A SOUTHERN ACCENT!
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Luther. If you enjoyed the TV shows, it's fine. Nothing special. The shows are better, and I wouldn't recommend watching the movie without having seen them first.
Andy Serkis is entertainingly unhinged.
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Sick was a pretty good little slasher flick until it fell apart in the third act.
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Trying to decide whether Fall belongs in here or in Crap Movies. Going to be generous and put it in here because of the cleavages, and because it wasn't completely awful.
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Trying to decide whether Fall belongs in here or in Crap Movies. Going to be generous and put it in here because of the cleavages, and because it wasn't completely awful.
I'm going to get to it at some point, I appreciate high concept failures.
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I'm going to get to it at some point, I appreciate high concept failures.
And I appreciate clever wordplay, intentional or not.
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And I appreciate clever wordplay, intentional or not.
I'm afraid not, I was too preoccupied wondering if the plural of cleavage is cleavage.
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I'm afraid not, I was too preoccupied wondering if the plural of cleavage is cleavage.
I wasn't but now I am. I feel like cleavage and cleavages both work.
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I'm afraid not, I was too preoccupied wondering if the plural of cleavage is cleavage.
I wasn't but now I am. I feel like cleavage and cleavages both work.
Cleavagi
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https://www.wordhippo.com/what-is/the-plural-of/cleavage.html
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/ca/A_bit_of_cleavage.jpg/320px-A_bit_of_cleavage.jpg)
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/2e/National_Cleavage_Day.jpg/320px-National_Cleavage_Day.jpg)
Edit:
Emily Blunt: rhymes with motorboat
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/10/Emily_Blunt_at_the_BAFTA_uncropped.jpg/597px-Emily_Blunt_at_the_BAFTA_uncropped.jpg)
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Hardcore Henry is exactly what it purports to be.
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(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20230515/16969a270d463ec508e5551026994a89.jpg)
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(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20230515/16969a270d463ec508e5551026994a89.jpg)
Lmao
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Lmao
https://youtu.be/JWXRe7osTI8
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https://youtu.be/JWXRe7osTI8
OK actually kill me.
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I didn't like Air. The whole thing hinges on Sonny's speech and it just hit me like sentimental, impossibly-prescient nonsense. How are you going to tell one of the first hyper-celebrities what it's going to be like as a hyper-celebrity?
Also, I need more restraint with the playlist in these nostalgia pieces. I know Affleck knows 200 eighties bangers and I love most of them, but they don't all need to be in the film and cramming them in lessens their impact. Fear Street was good but it had the same problem.
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I think if I get high enough I might tackle that new Transformers movie.
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I think if I get high enough I might tackle that new Transformers movie.
Like, overdose?
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I think if I get high enough I might tackle that new Transformers movie.
I did last night...no bueno
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I did last night...no bueno
How high were you?
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How high were you?
Not enough apparently
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Quantumania
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Quantumania
to quote a buddy...this movie is "boring rubbish"
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Phase 4 effectively killed my interest in Disney Adult Marvel.
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Amsterdam was much more fun than some of the reviews suggested it would be. Bit of a mess at times, but a very entertaining plane movie.
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Amsterdam was much more fun than some of the reviews suggested it would be. Bit of a mess at times, but a very entertaining plane movie.
i've literally been avoiding this movie because the reviews suck. but i will watch it now. watch this space for my response after i watch a JE-endorsed movie
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(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20230711/c78b91cbe7cdea004fd1166c2b3edb05.jpg)
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(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20230711/c78b91cbe7cdea004fd1166c2b3edb05.jpg)
It's going to be a bunch of English sounding French people, isn't it?
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It's going to be a bunch of English sounding French people, isn't it?
We call them Quebecers
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(https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20230711/c78b91cbe7cdea004fd1166c2b3edb05.jpg)
hahahaha
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(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f6/Facial.jpg)
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/62/Pierre_et_Gilles_%C3%A0_Perpignan_dans_le_cadre_du_FILAF_2018.jpg/496px-Pierre_et_Gilles_%C3%A0_Perpignan_dans_le_cadre_du_FILAF_2018.jpg)
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The Machine was pretty dumb, but it made me laugh more than quite a lot of more critically acclaimed comedies I've seen.
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Guardians Vol. 3 definitely passed the time.
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https://youtu.be/_rHLOXbFZtI (https://youtu.be/_rHLOXbFZtI)
So... Snyder Wars? Snyder Wars.
Probably belongs in the crap movies thread but I'll check it out when it drops. I like Sofia Boutella, she can be in The Expendablettes.
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Sharper was all right, but wholly predictable.
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Indiana Jones's Excellent Adventure
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Dungeons & Dragons was the okayest movie I've seen in a while.
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Dungeons & Dragons was the okayest movie I've seen in a while.
I tried to watch it on my flight earlier and turned it off about 20 minutes in
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I finally watched The Cable Guy last night and now I understand MB's online persona.
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I finally watched The Cable Guy last night and now I understand MB's online persona.
Oh Billy
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R0JN2VrXM4&t=76s (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R0JN2VrXM4&t=76s)
This is the type of schlock I live for.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R0JN2VrXM4&t=76s (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R0JN2VrXM4&t=76s)
This is the type of schlock I live for.
Macon Blair?! Holy excrement, this might be in the wrong thread.
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This movie is supposed to be cheeks, but I'll watch it
Well, maybe not. I read a single review that ripped it, but the rest seem really good.
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This movie is supposed to be cheeks, but I'll watch it
Well, maybe not. I read a single review that ripped it, but the rest seem really good.
Peter Dinklage has the midas touch
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I thought about watching Canadian Bacon. John Candy decreases the risk it's bad, right?
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I thought about watching Canadian Bacon. John Candy decreases the risk it's bad, right?
It isn't bad, it's pretty funny.
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I thought about watching Canadian Bacon. John Candy decreases the risk it's bad, right?
You need to watch Fubar 2....it's better than Canadian Bacon.
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I thought about watching Canadian Bacon. John Candy decreases the risk it's bad, right?
I always thought it was funny lol then again I was a teenager who was ripped last time I saw it
But im also a big fan of JC . John Candy us up there with Christ .
Sent from my SM-G988U using Tapatalk
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Freaky was OK.
#ITTFFSP
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Jennifer's Body is one of the most 2000s movies of all time.
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Jennifer's Body is one of the most 2000s movies of all time.
I love that movie.
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Diablo Cody dialogue is dogshit.
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Diablo Cody dialogue is dogshit.
That's one doodle that can't be undid, homeskillet.
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Diablo Cody dialogue is dogshit.
You're lesbi-gay.
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This came out in 2007:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8bWLrmk3kE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8bWLrmk3kE)
It took Eli Roth 16 years to finally bless us with this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbU50SdL8zA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KbU50SdL8zA)
It'll probably be trash but Eli Roth movies are trash that I can enjoy.
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The Killer
It was OK, but I expect more from Fincher.
This kinda felt like one of Soderburgh's joints: a competently made thriller from an unremarkable script.
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Renfield
"What a fun premise, and Nic Cage! Oh... Awkwafina's in this"
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The Machine
"Why would you put it in your pocket?!"
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The rest of Dave Made a Maze.
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The Treasure of Foggy Mountain is delightfully stupid. I want to rewatch but with a higher BAC.
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See How They Run
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I'll be generous and put it here because it did keep me watching until the end: Self Reliance.
Great premise, but really underdeveloped script and it wasn't as clever or funny as it wanted to be.
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Prometheus
Had some pretty cool ideas but you can tell it suffered a bit from development hell. I forgave the characters for making stupid decisions for as long as I could.
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Prometheus
Had some pretty cool ideas but you can tell it suffered a bit from development hell. I forgave the characters for making stupid decisions for as long as I could.
saw it in the theatre when it first came out....regretted it.
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Prometheus
Had some pretty cool ideas but you can tell it suffered a bit from development hell. I forgave the characters for making stupid decisions for as long as I could.
Wait, I have something for this:
https://youtu.be/-x1YuvUQFJ0?si=--DsZsqeKduNG2jg (https://youtu.be/-x1YuvUQFJ0?si=--DsZsqeKduNG2jg)
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Prometheus
Had some pretty cool ideas but you can tell it suffered a bit from development hell. I forgave the characters for making stupid decisions for as long as I could.
"There's oxygen! Let's take our helmets off on this alien planet." is my single most hated trope in science fiction and Ridley Scott does it again in the Prometheus sequel.
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"There's oxygen! Let's take our helmets off on this alien planet." is my single most hated trope in science fiction and Ridley Scott does it again in the Prometheus sequel.
https://youtu.be/fmwyWerz5KI?si=Oa3zZz3NNH40D_x4 (https://youtu.be/fmwyWerz5KI?si=Oa3zZz3NNH40D_x4)
"What about deadly alien microbes? I'd have kept my freaking space helmet on, just in case."
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"There's oxygen! Let's take our helmets off on this alien planet." is my single most hated trope in science fiction and Ridley Scott does it again in the Prometheus sequel.
I 100% will be watching Covenant.
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Watched Rambo: First Blood Part II last night for the first time since I was a teenager. It hasn't aged well. I'm giving them credit because they were at least still trying to make a movie with an earnest message as they did in the first one, but they pretty much gave up on it halfway through and just turned it into an exercise in killing boogeymen old (Viet Cong) and new (Russians).
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Watched Rambo: First Blood Part II last night for the first time since I was a teenager. It hasn't aged well. I'm giving them credit because they were at least still trying to make a movie with an earnest message as they did in the first one, but they pretty much gave up on it halfway through and just turned it into an exercise in killing boogeymen old (Viet Cong) and new (Russians).
Colonel Trautman still has egg on his face
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Watched Rambo: First Blood Part II last night for the first time since I was a teenager. It hasn't aged well. I'm giving them credit because they were at least still trying to make a movie with an earnest message as they did in the first one, but they pretty much gave up on it halfway through and just turned it into an exercise in killing boogeymen old (Viet Cong) and new (Russians).
This post is dedicated to the brave Mujahideen fighters.
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This post is dedicated to the brave Mujahideen fighters.
I don't believe I've ever seen the rest of the series and there's a reasonable chance it stays that way.
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I don't believe I've ever seen the rest of the series and there's a reasonable chance it stays that way.
Rambo 3 is a must watch
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Rambo 3 is a must watch
It is my expectation that the quality of the explosions improves as the quality of the storyline declines.
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It is my expectation that the quality of the explosions improves as the quality of the storyline declines.
the same theory applies to the Saw series, and you continue to watch those.
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I don't believe I've ever seen the rest of the series and there's a reasonable chance it stays that way.
Just watch Hot Shots Part Deux.
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the same theory applies to the Saw series, and you continue to watch those.
Agreed
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Just watch Hot Shots Part Deux.
Thanks I'll pass
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Rambo: First Blood Part II
Last Blood
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Skinamarink
I didn't hate it like some people but I didn't love it either.
Ball listed Stan Brakhage as one of his main influences for the film and that makes a ton of sense. It's abstract and utilizes a lot of low budget techniques to heighten the atmosphere. I loved the grain effect and the tricks it played with my imagination. I also liked the fact that he based it on a series of common nightmare tropes which kind of pulls the vague story together. The fact that most of the lighting was done with an old CRT TV was an interesting touch.
I can see why it got the initial hype that it did and also why the hype wound up becoming overblown quickly. It's the type of movie people will say they love just so they can seem smarter than everyone else, a typical "You just don't get it!" film.
There's a proof of concept version on YouTube called "Heck" that the director used to sell Skinamarink to studios which is a little more coherent. It honestly might be the better version of the story.
Heck: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVQzEzW4faA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVQzEzW4faA)
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Skinamarink
I didn't hate it like some people but I didn't love it either.
Ball listed Stan Brakhage as one of his main influences for the film and that makes a ton of sense. It's abstract and utilizes a lot of low budget techniques to heighten the atmosphere. I loved the grain effect and the tricks it played with my imagination. I also liked the fact that he based it on a series of common nightmare tropes which kind of pulls the vague story together. The fact that most of the lighting was done with an old CRT TV was an interesting touch.
I can see why it got the initial hype that it did and also why the hype wound up becoming overblown quickly. It's the type of movie people will say they love just so they can seem smarter than everyone else, a typical "You just don't get it!" film.
There's a proof of concept version on YouTube called "Heck" that the director used to sell Skinamarink to studios which is a little more coherent. It honestly might be the better version of the story.
Heck: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVQzEzW4faA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVQzEzW4faA)
You just don't get it
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You just don't get it
I saw someone comparing it to Aftersun yesterday and it made a lot of sense.
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I saw someone comparing it to Aftersun yesterday and it made a lot of sense.
JACKASS
I'LL KILL YOU
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speaking of Aftersun
All of Us Strangers belongs in this thread. It doesn't even come close to Aftersun.
It was fine, but nothing special.
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Code 8. I will have forgotten all about it tomorrow, but it passes an hour and a half well enough.
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Meg 2: The Trench
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Ryan’s Babe
https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=aUSCg4U-8pZyWYbn&v=83HsSyHo4FQ&feature=youtu.be